When the pen takes control.

As the griffon atop his pillar sat

he thought to himself, well that is that

the birds used to come and sit on my head

like the insects and flies, all now dead

because the path was sprayed with paraquat

Well I was on this fence.

Electric fence?

No wooden, else I couldn’t get my feet on it or round it.

And it might tingle a bit

Yeah spose

And this fellah came up to me and do you know what he said?

No what?

Hello!

He said Hello?

Yeah, provocative fuxxer.

No?

Too bloody right.

Well I never.

Straight up.

What did you do?

Well I beaked him, I had to or there might have been trouble.

Good point, well thought out.

Beneath the spreading chestnut tree

my love stands waiting expectantly

yet she will have to wait a long time I fear

I’m frightened of these trees so I’m out of here.

Poetry I know may not be everyone’s cup of tea

but of one thing learnt in school I’m sure we can all agree

that one of the lines that is most often heard

taken from an ode to a mouse by the Scottish bard

was his use of such term as a, “timorous beastie.”

Oh how could those cruel men do this to me

this isn’t really the place where I should be

cool waters need to be caressing my sides

as I bob up and down in time with the tides

or sailing oh so swiftly over the sea

Hey diddly Dee, it’s a pirates life for me

with all my pirate chums I cruise the seven seas

our ship may be old but always ready to fight

with guns and sword in hand we make quite a sight

all of us agree life is a deadly game

but our hunt for treasure remains our aim

and if I die whilst we are at sea

a watery grave is the place for me

Although Mary Poppins it’s plain to see

did not possess a medicine degree

as a person she seemed so nice

we all should listen to her advice

and have a spoonful of sugar.

Walking on the crack in the pavement

when young was the path to bereavement

but if you take a look at this picture it’s clear

the reason why for us it used to hold such fear

if you stood on a flower before it opened in the sun

of food for the bees then there would be none.

For those who are interested in history

cast your minds back to seventeen seventy three

because in that year far across the sea

we had the famous Boston tea party

on the throne of England was young George three

and some rich men formed the East India Company

who controlled parliament or so it would seem

who were granted an unfair monopoly

it had to do with the lucrative trade in tea

and in the end lost Britain a major colony

starting the war of Independence you see