I’d like to tell you a little tale
about a girl called Rita Hayward,
with her independent outlook
her parents thought her wayward,
but like many women in those days
she liked to think herself liberated,
certainly her breasts turned out to be as
when while on a date she co-operated
with the removal of her underclothes
giving me a quite expectant thrill,
imagine how my pulses quickened
when she said, “It’s okay I’m on the pill
On the cross-dressers trip to Navarre
agreeing to meet in the hotel bar
the singer had a nice ass
but a voice like rough crushed glass
who turned out to be a tranny
which to them seemed quite uncanny
Filed under Adult themes, Comic verse, Humorous, No offence intended, Self compositions
With a hungry child,
the rent man knocking, calls for
desperate measures,
those who buy her services
seldom gain or give delight
A pious girl called Susan from Hay
knelt down in the church to pray
it was like every males dream
when her skirt split at the seam
showing she’d gone commando that day
A young girl from Norfolk called Jill
with her parents lived in a mill,
she would sneak into their bed
even though her mother was dead
while dad gave thanks for the pill.
Filed under Adult themes, As you read it, Comic verse, Humorous, Inspired by fable, Limerick, Rural life, Self compositions, Whimsical
A churchgoing girl called Geraldine
married a sailor when she was just seventeen,
while her husband was away on the sea
men would go back to her house for some tea
and make videos that were often obscene.
Filed under Adult themes, Comic verse, History, Limerick, On the lines of romance, Self compositions
I will tell you a tale,
it’s not very long,
about Teddy the tinker
who loved to sing songs,
while riding in his cart
as his pony towed them along.
The pony’s name was Ticker
but he had just one thing wrong
with him, though you couldn’t tell
as he trotted in time to his gong.
It wasn’t his heart though his name may suggest
but his very long appendage
which reached to his chest.
Filed under Adult themes, As you read it, Comic verse, Self compositions, Whimsical
Big-eared David was dating big-nose Eileen
who was determined to prove she was keen
she said I love you, I’ll show it,
lean back and I’ll blow it,
and the poor boy said no, that’s obscene
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