Monthly Archives: Jan 2024

I knew an old sailor whose name was Greed

you’d have thought he had all a man would need

to spend his life sailing the silvery main

but he was greedy by nature hence the name

but he loaded his boat a little too far

and ended up stuck on a big sand bar

Patrolling off the Spanish Main, the Armada boats were ready, so much was plain, I see them on the starboard side we heard the lookout duly cry, the invasion we were stationed here to foil and surely there would be a great turmoil if we had let them land on our English soil

There was a young girl called Julie

whose behaviour was often unruly

everyone thought her a brazen hussy

inviting all the boys to stroke her pussy

and to swear that they loved her truly

Placid clouds precede

the wild furies of the wind

calm before the storm

Long, tall Sally, standing true

doing the job she was made to do

on her head an iron crown

bare legs firmly on the ground

stockings of ivy grasping her thighs

any higher and then stop, she’ll cry

I’m very keen on the great outdoors

rambling over hill and moors

but yesterday set a precedent

as I had a minor accident

my first aid skills are not too good

so I decided that I should

let a professional have a look

rather than checking my St. John’s book

whilst negotiating stony ground

my knee gave way and I fell down

as it needed more than ointment

I rang up for an appointment

but as is the norm nowadays

I couldn’t be seen for fourteen days

It looks like someone needs some help

their golden bin is covered with kelp

but this is not where it should be

it’s wasted lying there in the sea

let’s find a place where it is needed

people will smile each time they feed it

A blue disc in sight

while gazing down from above

there’s no place like home