I looked at my neighbour
and she looked at me
then she smiled, bowed her head
and asked if I could see
that we and all the the other posts
were painted quite brightly.
I asked her for the reason
and with a smile of glee,
she said tonight when the park is closed
we will dance round the old dead tree
I’d like a photo in there said Anne
so off we went, camera in hand
but first I had to pee,
she held it for me
and that’s how our romance began
I asked my single mum, neighbour, Denise
to come with me on my boat out to sea
as the temperature rose
she stripped off all her clothes
but sadly her dark hair stretched right down to her knees
A strange young man called Crockett
wanted to go into space in a rocket
but his helmet and mask were too small
they just didn’t work at all
but it was a good try, so don’t knock it.
A pious girl called Susan from Hay
knelt down in the church to pray
it was like every males dream
when her skirt split at the seam
showing she’d gone commando that day
A spirited girl called Louise
with a friend went home through the trees
but on some stone steps she tripped,
she fell ass over tip,
a good excuse for her grazed knees.
A young girl from Norfolk called Jill
with her parents lived in a mill,
she would sneak into their bed
even though her mother was dead
while dad gave thanks for the pill.
The next through train is from Wapping
at this speed it will not be stopping
when you see it go past
it will be very fast
and all it’s passengers ears will be popping.
Hanging his set of spare clothing on the gate, the invisible man leaned back. He braced himself as he let his soaking wet trousers and underclothes fall to the floor. Kicking them to one side he rested while he planned his next move.
A chicken farmer’s daughter from Leeds
when told about the birds and the bees,
realised her hens necks were wrung
and if you angered a bee you got stung,
and thought well, this sex thing’s not for me.