I’d like to impart to you something that I’ve learnt
if it’s a hot, sunny day your plants can get burnt
so leave the door open or perhaps a window instead
but make sure that you close it before you go to bed
for it sometimes gets very cold, especially through the night
and to find your precious plants all dead is not a pretty sight
Filed under Factual, Humorous, Self compositions
If I might take a little of your time
I will introduce you to some friends of mine
they may seem a little creepy to anyone new
but we all get funny after a year or two
sorry I forgot to tell you the price of a bed
they come free but to get in you have to be dead
and I’m afraid you can’t get a single room
it is always quite cosy in the catacomb.
Filed under Humorous, Self compositions
I love to go out for a walk
with my master in the park
and if no other dogs we see
he often lets me off the lead
I run around and sometimes if
I find something I have a good sniff
but best of all there’s a lot of trees
and on every one I can have a pee
Filed under Factual, Humorous, Self compositions
The contestants in Paris to Dakar races
plan their routes on a most sensible basis
that if they are not able to carry any water
when planning their route they oughta
make certain that they can stop at an oasis.
Filed under Comic verse, Humorous, Self compositions
Here’s the story of Nathaniel Quinn
he never did learn how to swim
one day at the lakeside he fell in
and though everyone was looking for him
they never did find poor Nathaniel Quinn
Filed under Comic verse, Humorous, Self compositions
Home comes the sailor, home from the sea,
he stands on the foc’sle and what does he see
a crowd of happy faces standing on the quay
he thinks my wife’s among them waiting there for me
but he’s not too surprised for this is not to be
she’s run away with Jim who lived at number three.
Filed under Comic verse, Factual, Humorous, On the lines of romance, Self compositions
The trick or treaters getting weary
found our Uncle Fester cheery
even if he did look somewhat eerie
as smiling he said, “Hello dearie.”
Filed under Humorous, Self compositions
I decided I would take a photo
of the old Minster’s rose window
for when the sun shines down through the glass
you can see Saint Maria’s ass
as she leads it along the main street
in order to find grass to eat
but although I am not one to complain
sadly the weather turned to rain
so we went home, my camera and me
for there was no Pepper’s Ghost to see
Filed under Comic verse, Humorous, Self compositions
I’d like to tell you a little tale
about a girl called Rita Hayward,
with her independent outlook
her parents thought her wayward,
but like many women in those days
she liked to think herself liberated,
certainly her breasts turned out to be as
when while on a date she co-operated
with the removal of her underclothes
giving me a quite expectant thrill,
imagine how my pulses quickened
when she said, “It’s okay I’m on the pill
On the cross-dressers trip to Navarre
agreeing to meet in the hotel bar
the singer had a nice ass
but a voice like rough crushed glass
who turned out to be a tranny
which to them seemed quite uncanny
Filed under Adult themes, Comic verse, Humorous, No offence intended, Self compositions
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye...
A Chronological History of Britain
Helping people discover the sacred landscape around us
~wandering through life in my time machine...you never know where it will stop next~
Write here, write now.
My writing, my books, my poetry and a bit of running.
Brett Kristian
Independent Publisher of Poetry and Prose
There are dragons and magic in the world if only you look for them... V.M. Sang
um...
Healing CPTSD with Poetry and Photography
A Photo, Info & Opinion Blog by Wayne Nelson
Poetry, Flash Fiction, Stories, Musings, Photos
Art is Life
Driveling twaddle by an old flapdoodle.
Read-a-holic
Vashti Quiroz-Vega, Author, Horror, Fantasy, Thriller, Short Stories & Articles
A QUIRKY LOOK AT MODERN LIFE
Where the fire and the rose are one
the magic begins the moment you start being yourself
Travel Through Books
a resource for moving poetry
Odds and ends of British history in no particular order
Musings from an insignificant writer
Author Aspiring
THE DRIVELLINGS OF TWATTERSLEY FROMAGE
my humanity in written form
Published in Gold Dust magazine, Literally Stories, Near to the Knuckle, McStorytellers, Penny Shorts, Soft Cartel, Whatever Keeps the Lights On, and Shooter magazine.
Just another blog of random thoughts.
Aspiring to be the best at writing. Poetry lover, haiku and free verse to be precise, I hope to one day master
The writerly musings of Connie J. Jasperson, author, blogger and medieval renaissance woman.
Writer & Translator
Writing Advice From A YA Author Powered By Chocolate And Green Tea
Doing the best I can to keep it on the bright side
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Life is make believe, fantasy given form
What the world needs now in addition to love is wisdom. We are the masters of our own disasters.
Writer. Feminist. Historian. Person.
A creative miscellany of mythic fantasies
Award-winning, dream-protecting author
Shortness of Breadth
When the pen takes control. 