Category Archives: Self compositions

There was an old guy called Fred

he loved to work in his shed

he was playing with something corrosive

turned out it was highly explosive

so sadly old Fred is now dead.

There’s a question that’s been asked by many and I myself still think it funny that although of me it’s often said I haven’t a sensible thought in my head I often find myself nonplussed when people ask what the Romans did for us, and the answer obviously is there for all to plainly see, before they decided to invade us our roads were just anfractuous so used were we to walking where only sheep had gone before and so we just decided to follow, the sheep’s tracks up and down each hill and hollow.

It’s a sad story

when interest starts to wane

end of an era

Still so stoked – try to say that five times fast. Anyway, I wrote a post last week (it feels like a year ago) about being stoked about something, …

Still so stoked!

I knew an old sailor whose name was Greed

you’d have thought he had all a man would need

to spend his life sailing the silvery main

but he was greedy by nature hence the name

but he loaded his boat a little too far

and ended up stuck on a big sand bar

Patrolling off the Spanish Main, the Armada boats were ready, so much was plain, I see them on the starboard side we heard the lookout duly cry, the invasion we were stationed here to foil and surely there would be a great turmoil if we had let them land on our English soil

There was a young girl called Julie

whose behaviour was often unruly

everyone thought her a brazen hussy

inviting all the boys to stroke her pussy

and to swear that they loved her truly

Placid clouds precede

the wild furies of the wind

calm before the storm

Long, tall Sally, standing true

doing the job she was made to do

on her head an iron crown

bare legs firmly on the ground

stockings of ivy grasping her thighs

any higher and then stop, she’ll cry