I decided I would take a photo
of the old Minster’s rose window
for when the sun shines down through the glass
you can see Saint Maria’s ass
as she leads it along the main street
in order to find grass to eat
but although I am not one to complain
sadly the weather turned to rain
so we went home, my camera and me
for there was no Pepper’s Ghost to see
Filed under Comic verse, Humorous, Self compositions
I’d like to tell you a little tale
about a girl called Rita Hayward,
with her independent outlook
her parents thought her wayward,
but like many women in those days
she liked to think herself liberated,
certainly her breasts turned out to be as
when while on a date she co-operated
with the removal of her underclothes
giving me a quite expectant thrill,
imagine how my pulses quickened
when she said, “It’s okay I’m on the pill
On the cross-dressers trip to Navarre
agreeing to meet in the hotel bar
the singer had a nice ass
but a voice like rough crushed glass
who turned out to be a tranny
which to them seemed quite uncanny
Filed under Adult themes, Comic verse, Humorous, No offence intended, Self compositions
He turned to the boy and said, my lad
For a first effort it’s not too bad
But we’re making a statue for all to see
So perhaps you’d better leave it to me
Don’t worry lad for we’ll both be there
When it goes up in Trafalgar square.
Filed under Comic verse, Humorous, Self compositions
My lady’s name was primrose
she had such a beautiful snub nose
from where I would start kissing
making sure no part was missing
to the tips of her pretty pink toes
Filed under Comic verse, Limerick, On the lines of romance, Uncategorized
Whilst in San Remo on holiday
I visited the graveyard one day
to find old Edward Lear‘s grave
and in these words my respects gave
I’m sorry sir but have you heard
everything you wrote was quite absurd
curious poems and stories tall
enjoyed by children and by all
you can be sure we will not forget
your wonderful nonsense alphabet
Filed under Comic verse, Self compositions, Uncategorized
Dan the drake and Debbie duck
truly felt that at last their luck
had changed when to their delight
there was not another duck in sight
for to swim alone was such a treat
as there would be enough to eat
no jostling shoving that they must
endure in order to secure a crust
now when bread is cast upon the lakes
a leisurely paddle is all it takes.
Filed under Comic verse, Factual, Humorous, Rural life
I’d like a photo in there said Anne
so off we went, camera in hand
but first I had to pee,
she held it for me
and that’s how our romance began
Filed under As you read it, Comic verse, Humorous, Limerick, On the lines of romance, Self compositions
I asked my single mum, neighbour, Denise
to come with me on my boat out to sea
as the temperature rose
she stripped off all her clothes
but sadly her dark hair stretched right down to her knees
Filed under As you read it, Comic verse, Humorous, Limerick, Self compositions, Uncategorized
There was a pretty young girl called Denise
who would often take a stroll through the trees,
when there was no-one around
she would dance and spin gaily around
till her knickers fell down to her knees.
Filed under Comic verse, Limerick, nature inspired, Self compositions
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