I’d like to impart to you something that I’ve learnt
if it’s a hot, sunny day your plants can get burnt
so leave the door open or perhaps a window instead
but make sure that you close it before you go to bed
for it sometimes gets very cold, especially through the night
and to find your precious plants all dead is not a pretty sight
Filed under Factual, Humorous, Self compositions
If I might take a little of your time
I will introduce you to some friends of mine
they may seem a little creepy to anyone new
but we all get funny after a year or two
sorry I forgot to tell you the price of a bed
they come free but to get in you have to be dead
and I’m afraid you can’t get a single room
it is always quite cosy in the catacomb.
Filed under Humorous, Self compositions
It’s Saturday and it’s time to see
what challenge Sammi Cox has for me,
I might purport to be the best
to try my hand at his test
then it’s published, so sit and wait
to see if any likes I make
then I think well it’s not
how many likes I got,
followers I hope to gain
so next week I try again.
Filed under Self compositions
I will tell you a curious story
The point of it will soon become clear
Not sure if it’s true but this was told to me
So I will just pass on something quite queer
A young girl went riding on her family’s estate
Despite warnings she preferred to ride alone
Now begins the mystery as to her fate
Because on this occasion she didn’t return home
Her riderless pony was found wandering down the lane
And poor Miriam Anne Quinton was never seen again.
Filed under Self compositions, The art of thinking
Finally I am laid to rest
all my worldly cares forgotten
no more will I feel so rotten
as when the pain within my chest
convinced me that it may be best
if I booked in the surgery
my local doctor for to see
and told that I would have to wait
for they were not open till eight
by then it was too late for me.
Filed under Comic verse, No offence intended, Self compositions
Whilst flying high up in the sky
something of interest I did spy
so carefully looking all around
I wheeled and swooped down to the ground
imagine my surprise to see
a tasty morsel just for me
but in truth I thought it wrong to steal
what had been someone else’s meal
whose it once was I could not tell
so being hungry thought, “what the hell,
I’ve had nothing else to eat
so gobbled up the tasty treat
Filed under Self compositions
I used to live in a place called New Mawden
and I went to school with a Lizzie Bawden
with her long black hair she looked delicious
but apparently she was quite capricious
when I asked her if she wanted to come out to play
she said she was helping mum chop sticks that day
Filed under Self compositions
Big-boned Betty would often saunter
along the beach so that she could flaunt her
ample assets provokingly attired
in a style that everyone admired
because she always looked so dashing
as she paraded the latest bikini fashion
no-one knew how she got her name
but called her that just the same
Filed under Self compositions
Whilst stationed in the Hindu Kush
something that I can still recall
was every day before nightfall
over the mountains would come a hush
just the song of a single thrush
his liquid song like crystal clear
and all would pause the notes to hear
while every day his song we heard
we never saw the tuneful bird
something we all found rather queer
Filed under Self compositions
Twixt bin and bench one day was found
a full three feet below the ground
some curious objects from history
giving rise to a local mystery
when asked how old no one seemed to know
but they were placed there long ago
now if you want to go and see’em
you’ll have to visit the county museum
Filed under Self compositions
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